Sleep is a huge part of self-care and taking care of your body. Not getting enough sleep can make us feel irritable, groggy, and just off. Chronic sleep deprivation can also make us more susceptible to getting sick. In short, not getting enough sleep sucks.
Sleep Issues are More Common than You Think
About 70 million Americans struggle with getting quality sleep, about about 11% of Americans struggle with sleep each night. This is an issue that spans socioeconomic status; that is, it affects people of all walks of life.
The Two Types of Insomnia
Insomnia can hit us in two ways. Some people have difficulty falling asleep at night, that is, they might lie down for bed but have difficulty actually shutting off. Some people experience early morning waking, and find themselves wide awake at 3am for no reason. Some people are really lucky and experience both.
How To Fall Asleep and Stay Asleep
We’ve established that insomnia is the worst, now let’s talk about what we can do about it. I’ll go over some tips for good Sleep Hygiene. Sleep Hygiene is a funny way of saying “things you can do to set yourself up for good sleep”.
Tips for Good Sleep Hygiene
- Get Comfy.
Many people find that comfortable bedding, a cool room, and warm blankets help them sleep better. If you find yourself too hot or too cold, consider playing with the thermostat or changing up the number of blankets you have. - Have a Quiet, Dark Room.
Blackout curtains, sleep masks, noise machines, and ear plugs can help cut down on noise and light that can wake you up. You can also use a dark t-shirt as a cheap sleep mask over your eyes. - Make Sure Your Pets Are Letting You Sleep.
My cat, George, loooves to wake everyone up at 3am. So, he spends most nights in another part of the house with the door closed. My other cat, Maybe, used to wake me up at 5am wanting to be fed. We got both of them automatic feeders that go off at 10pm and 5am so that they are fed and happy and we can continue sleeping. Is your pet waking you up? Consider giving them their own space in the house at night or getting an automatic feeder with one or two nighttime feedings. - Train Your Brain to Associate Your Bed with Rest.
Reserve your bed for “The Three S’”: sleep, sickness, and sex. Doing stressful things like working, schoolwork, or having a tense phone conversation while you’re in bed makes your brain think of your bed as a place where you need to be alert to potentially stressful situations. - Don’t Watch TV in Bed.
Watching TV in bed can train your brain to only fall asleep while the TV is on. If this sounds like you, try to watch TV in a different room. - Limit Screen Time Before Bed, Even If You Have A Blue Light Filter.
This one is hard in the age of smartphones. If you can, try to put down all screens at least 30 minutes or an hour before you want to sleep. Having a blue light filter on your phone helps, but you’re still looking at a light, and that’s telling your brain it’s still daylight outside and time to be awake. Try reading, listening to music, or coloring instead. Binging that amazing TV show is probably way more exciting, but your brain needs calming (or even boring) before bed. - Limit Caffeine and Sugar.
Caffeine and sugar can keep you awake, so try to limit the amount you consume in the evening. - Develop A Nighttime Routine.
Doing the same routine each night can help your brain recognize when you’re winding down for relaxation and sleep. Showering, washing your face, brushing your teeth, doing a skincare routine, putting on some lavender-scented lotion, etc. all can signal to your brain that it’s time to start getting sleepy. - Write It Down To Let It Go.
If you’re having trouble shutting your brain off at night, try writing down your thoughts in a notepad you keep on your nightstand or in the “Notes” section of your phone. The idea is to get your ideas, worries, or reminders written down so you can let go of them for the moment. They’ll be there when you wake up. - Try A YouTube Relaxing Meditation, Sleep Story, or ASMR* Video.
There are tons of videos, podcasts, and apps out there that give you options to listen to or watch relaxing stuff. ASMR refers to that calm, relaxed sensation we get when we see something calming or listen to someone whisper or make soft noises.
Stephen Fry’s Lavender Fields Sleep Story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mGifCwig8I
Leaves on a Stream Meditation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exLaebgFO_8
Relaxing ASMR Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Culo7n-4Brk - Hang Out In Another Room.
If you have early-morning insomnia and find yourself awake at 3am, do your best to avoid looking at bright lights (like your phone). If you’re tossing and turning after 20 minutes or so, get up and go to another room to avoid associating your bed with stress. Do a quiet, relaxing/boring activity and go back to bed when you’re feeling tired. - Limit Liquids.
If you’re waking early to use the restroom, try limiting liquids after a certain time in the evening. Check in with your doctor about what time is best for your body to make sure you’re not waking up nightly to use the facilities. - Let Go of Your Frustration.
Not being able to sleep is the worst. But dwelling on being awake or getting anxious or frustrated about not feeling rested the next day will only keep you awake. Do things to decrease anxiety and frustration, like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or 5 senses grounding. Remind yourself that you’ve survived being tired and sleep-deprived before. Paradoxically, the more we can let go of our attachment to sleep, the more likely we’ll be to relax enough to actually fall asleep. - Get Support.
If you’re having trouble shutting off your anxious thoughts or calming your nerves at night, you may try therapy to release the pressure valve on your emotions and to learn skills to help manage difficult thoughts and feelings when they come up. Some therapists even specialize in helping folks with sleep disorders. Talking to your doctor about medication to help with sleep, or even participating in a sleep study can also be helpful. - Focus on something random
Sometimes people have a hard time getting their brain to be quiet. It can help to focus on something totally neutral that your brain can’t easily use to think of reasons to worry or perseverate. For me, I focus on the words “toaster” or “starfish”. It sounds silly, but focusing your brain on something neutral can be easier at times than trying to focus on nothing.
Find balance, feel at peace. Reach out and connect with an Austin EMDR therapist today.
