Managing Negative Emotions:
Ugh, this same dance again. You’re feeling completely stuck in anxiety, overwhelm, and negativity. Even if things are going relatively well, you can almost feel your blood pressure rising. And the worst part is, your body doesn’t seem to be listening to you. “Calm down!”, you want to shout. It’s even more frustrating that you can’t seem to stop yourself from feeling frustrated.
Let’s talk about a simple question to ask yourself when it feels like you’re stuck in emotional quicksand and can’t get out. It would be so nice to have an “off” button for emotions sometimes. But we’d be missing out on some really, super important information our emotions give us. Let’s practice listening to the emotion instead.
So, ask yourself: “What are the reasons it makes sense that I feel this way?”
Write them down if it helps.
My girlfriend and I had a fight last night, and I’m still feeling off.
I haven’t been sleeping well.
Oh–I forgot to eat lunch. I should probably do that.
I’m trying out a new medication.
I’ve had a ton of stress at work.
I’ve had some pretty big changes recently, even though they’re good changes. (All change is stressful, even good change).
I’ve been feeling on edge waiting for a response about my work/health/etc for weeks.
My mom/dog/partner is having some health problems, and it’s been a nonstop worry in the back of my mind.
If you wrote your reasons down, look back over them. How many are there? Probably more than you’d have thought.
Thinking about your list, does it make sense that you would be feeling worried/on edge/frustrated?
Yes.
Take a breath. Let it go. Do you notice a difference just by thinking that it makes some sense that you’d be feeling this way? This is the power of self-compassion. It helps us to see and think more clearly. Beating ourselves up can often heighten already difficult feelings and make it more difficult for us to see what the problem is. In this way, being kind, patient, and gentle with yourself is actually more helpful and efficient.
Think now about what you need. Maybe it’s a break, or to go eat something, or to talk to someone. Maybe you just need to turn off your brain and do something relaxing or fun, or to turn in early and get some good sleep. Maybe you need to take action on something that’s been bothering you. Whatever it is, I hope you take care of yourself in the way you need to today.
Next time you’re feeling stuck, try asking yourself the question, “What are the reasons it makes sense that I feel this way?”
Find balance, feel at peace. Reach out and connect with an Austin EMDR Therapist today.
